Life Lesson: Breaking Up Isn't So Hard to Do

Best life decisions I have made in the past six months:
1. Move to a new city on my own without knowing a single soul
2. Break up with my college boyfriend

Yep, this just got real, kids.  The second decision may sound harsh, but it is the truth.  I spent two and a half years with a boy I met in college who we will call Sam (names have been changed to protect the innocent). Sam was nice and kind, but did not have the drive and zest for life that I do.  I kept putting off ending things with Sam in hopes that one day he would turn into the man that I wanted and needed.  I used to say that when we started dating he was wearing sweat pants and after about two years was wearing jeans and I was just waiting for the khaki pants to be put on, his "big boy pants." Unfortunately, it became quite apparent that those pants were not going to fit him.

At first the thought of moving on from Sam was terrifying to me. I tried to convince myself for a long time that I could live the life Sam wanted in a small town with no aspirations for something more.  I tried to convince myself that Sam could one day live the life I wanted in a city with room to grow.  I tried to convince myself that the way Sam treated me would improve.  I tried to convince myself that he would one day realize that he was lucky to have me and would appreciate me. I tried to convince myself of all of these things, but in February  I stopped trying to convince myself and started to live for myself and myself only. I realized in trying to hold on to something for the sake of not hurting Sam that I was actually hurting myself. At that point I no longer factored Sam into my decision making.  I actually took him completely out of it. I decided to bide my time until I felt I was ready to let go of this part of my life.

So if you are a math whiz you are realizing that the decision I made did not come in February 2011 because that is longer than six months.  You are correct.  One of the worst things I did was not end things with Sam sooner.  I held on until June 2011.  I was afraid of ruining the end of the school year and wanted to try and enjoy the time that I had even though our relationship was completely dysfunctional. 

It took me one week of being on my own in Louisville to break up with Sam.  Things came to a head when Sam told me my decision to move was selfish and inconsiderate. I knew at that point that there was never going to be a change of heart for Sam.  He would never understand why I needed to move somewhere on my own.  I needed to prove to myself that I could and go on an adventure. I had to bite the bullet and tell Sam the one thing I knew would hurt him most in the world.  I had to tell him I was no longer in love with him and hadn't been for quite a while.  And that was that.

Sad story, huh?  Then why is the title of this post, "breaking up isn't that hard to do"? Because in my case it wasn't hard. Of course I did not want to hurt Sam, but I also had been grieving about losing this relationship for about six months.  I had moved past it in my head and all of my hurt came mostly before we actually broke up.  I detached myself from him in order to protect myself.  When we finally did break up I was able to see the reasons why it was for the best immediately.  I cried for one day and that was it.  All of my other crying came while I was still in the relationship. Looking back, I think I ended the relationship at exactly the right time.  It was a great springing step into my new life.  A complete fresh start.

Wisdom to share:
1. When you love someone you want their happiness to come first, but not when it means sacrificing your own.
2. Everything happens for a reason and at the right time. 
3. There is a big difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone
4. Be true to you


Not all of my posts will be this intense....promise!

New Beginnings

Ok folks, let's get a little better acquainted.  You may be looking over my previous blog posts and thinking "what is this?" Well, let me explain.  I originally created this blog for my social media class at Ohio Northern University during my final quarter in school.  I stopped blogging as soon as the class was over, but realized today at lunch with my new friend Laura that blogging needs to come back into my life. Why, you may ask? We will get to that in a second.

You now might be thinking, "okay, then why leave the old posts up, why not delete them and start over?" Valid question, grasshopper.  There is also a valid answer. I think they set the perfect stage for what this blog is all about, my journey into big girl life.  There are over 30 posts about academic subjects that were written as I was closing one chapter of my life and preparing to start a new one. It all flows together and shows the transition that my life has made.

Now, why blogging?  Well, again, valid question.  I think it is important to take time to reflect on your life and not simply go through the motions.  I think about all the different experiences I have had and new opportunities that have come my way since I moved and set out on my own and I do not want to simply let them rest without fully appreciating them for what they were.  I have learned so much already in 6 months and I think in order to hold onto this knowledge and continue to grow I need to share it and really make myself think.  It is so easy to just float along through life, but I am not a floater.  I am a thinker and a doer. So, this blog is more for me than anyone else, but if it helps you along the way, makes you laugh, cry or feel any sort of emotion, then it will make it 100 times more worth it for me to write it.  So, here we go!  Please let me know what you think.  Give me feedback and share your life lessons too!

Peace Out

Its finally here, week 10 of my very last quarter at ONU.  This week is filled with various awards banquets, end of the year parties and various other commitments.  Along with all of this comes a sense of finality.  The last time I will be heading to a 10 am class, my last University Singers rehearsal and my last Thursday night dinner creation. I've had a great experience at ONU, but I feel completely prepared to head into the real world on my own.  Bring it on!

I Got a Job!

As it comes down to the final weeks before graduation, I am proud to say that I have a job! Woohoo!  After sending out at least 75 job applications, I got the call on Tuesday from the Kentucky Center for the Performing Arts.  I was so determined to know what I was going to be doing after May 22 that I set a goal for myself of one application a day.  This turned into about five a day.  I got a call from the Kentucky Center three weeks ago for a phone interview the next week, then they called me down to Louisville the following week for an in person interview and then offered me the position a week later.  I will be working as an event services coordinator doing contract writing, bookings and other odds and ends.  I am so excited and happy that I have a path set out after graduation.  Now, I just need to find an apartment, but that the fun part!

Think Before You Act

In the book The New Influencers, Gillin talks about a point that I felt was very important.  He says that strategy needs to drive technology.  I think all too often the reverse order happens.  All too quickly organizations and companies are looking to jump onto the newest and most hip technology in order to reach their customers, but sometimes this will not fit the bill. Think about a company like the Walking Company.  This is a shoe chain  that is mainly directed at middle-aged people.  Therefore, if this company was to jump on the twitter bandwagon to try to get recognition they would probably fail.  While some middle-aged people are on twitter, most are not.  The message of tweets from the Walking Company would be completely lost.  Instead, the Walking Company should look at different forms of social media to reach their customers.  Perhaps a class reunion website would be a better place to advertise.

Another topic that Gillin discusses is del.icio.us.  He says that this is the most powerful search engine site.  Having never really taken the time to explore this site, I decided to give it a go. It seems very navigable to me and like it would be a very helpful tool for social media experts.  The key to this site is tagging.  I understand now the importance of tagging in the social media world.  If you want to get noticed by important figures in the social media world, you need to tag properly so that they can track you down quickly on a site like del.icio.us.  While, I probably don't think this site is the most powerful search engine for me, I can see why it is so important to social media as a whole.

Twitter Mania

In the wake of the announcement that Osama Bin Ladin was dead twitter and facebook exploded!  I was not at home when the news broke but my roommate texted me to give me a heads up.  Can I say now how glad I am that I have a smart phone?  I immediately turned on the CNN app as well as my mobile twitter app.  Twitter was having at least 20 new posts every 10 seconds it seemed.  I was getting all the latest information, including a tracking of how long it would be until the President spoke.  Facebook was just as lively.  People first were simply declaring the information, then came the jokes and the puns.  It was an entertaining as well as a history making night for social media.  So, how did you hear the news?  Were you watching your TV at home when the news casters broke into regular programming, or were you on twitter or facebook?  There is no denying that social media has completely changed the way we view our world and the way we relate to it.

Twitter Assignment

The two people I chose to follow were Gretchen Rossi and Geoff Living. I felt these two people were very different in their reasons for using twitter as well as they type of person that would follow them. Gretchen is from the Real Housewives of Orange County and uses her twitter as a self-promotion tool, as well as a social tool. Mr. Living uses twitter as a self-promotional tool, social tool, but also as an informational tool. For example, this tweet from him "SF Chronicle video prompts White House threat http://t.co/pMh476p censorship from @whitehouse." This is a way of him connecting with his followers and letting them know about issues he feels are important.  On the contrast, Gretchen tweets "Just finished dinner with friends, On way to Blackfin now! Look forward to meeting everyone!"  This is her using twitter as a social tool. Gretchen tweeted 16 times on April 27, while Geoff tweeted almost 40 times on the same day.  Gretchen does not use hashtags much, Geoff does not use them often, but more than Gretchen does.  Geoff posts more links then hashtags.  I feel like both of these people are using twitter to connect with their followers and promote themselves, but Mr. Living uses it as an awareness tool, as well.

The two companies I chose to follow were St. Jude, a nonprofit, and Sharpie, a for profit company.  Both organizations use hashtags fairly frequently. In addition, both companies use twitter as a way to promote their products, and pretty much only for that purpose.  Sharpie played into pop culture more, by connecting many tweets to the royal wedding and ways the British could use sharpies.  St. Jude simply promotes their organization and gives hints of ways to donate to the organization.  Sharpie typically tweets under 10 times a day, while St. Jude only tweets about one or two times per day.  Both organizations use twitter in my opinion.  There is only so much that can be said about childhood cancer a day or a marker.